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An Imaginary Father

I am Nadia. My mother is Scottish, and father is Arab. I don’t speak Arabic. I am not familiar with the cultures, traditions or history of my father’s country. I have never met my father. My mother tells too many lies. Sometimes I don’t know who I am. Over the years I have asked my … Continue reading An Imaginary Father

Building a Mother

I recently realised i’ve been actively searching for a mother figure. Subconsciously so, and completely unaware of this until recently. Looking at all my interactions with other women, some much older and some not so much. I daydream of their reactions to me sharing daily dilemmas of my own motherhood, of their support and love … Continue reading Building a Mother

Is it Gaslighting, Or is it Me?

That night. When my parents pushed their way into my house while my 3-year-old son slept upstairs in his bedroom. Lost in innocent dreams.  When they forced their way through the rooms of my home, my safe place. My mother shouting at me, threatening me, laughing at me. Challenging me. Words dripping with venom. Hatred. … Continue reading Is it Gaslighting, Or is it Me?

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